|
|
||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||
|
Angel
"my face on someone's ass is a good move for a tattoo, everyone should get one, or ,ladies should get my face on each boob, but have the faces lookin at each other winkin. God that would be sweet" Simone
Online convo: Keith
Anyone who knows who Keith (check his site here if you don't) is can see why this is very funny coming from him: David Ellis
Man: Ellis, how do you feel about Matthew Yglesias? Andrew
Andrew's drunk friend, Andrew, stumbling away after we explain the house rules to him at a pool hall: Matt
IM convo with Matt: Matt: Nikki says hi Brian and me
Brian: I can't believe you wear white socks... Brian and me
(Both tired and at a club one night) Brian and me
Brian: How much do you think that hooker costs? Brian and me
(When I was seeing a girl that spoke very little English and Brian hooked up with her English-schooled friend) Me
(The end of a conversation with a girl from South Africa about what makes a girl a skank, ((after she yelled at Andrew and me for the amount of ham we used in our sandwiches.)) Brian
Me: What's with the 2 DJ's spinning next to each other? Eastwood
A great response when you don't hear/understand someone: Eastwood
Conversation about his 8 and 9 year old students: AE: So I don't think the girls here do high 5's. Eastwood
Said with conviction, after finishing yet another crossword puzzle (from the "Nice and Easy Crosswords" book)(seriously, that's the name of the book): Eastwood
After dinner, walking out of the restaurant: Eastwood
about Thai money: Eastwood and Me
Eastwood: This subway is even cleaner than D.C.'s subway... way cleaner than New York's... Eastwood
At Starbucks, online, after an unfortunate incident at a massage parl... establishment: Eastwood
"See, they put the same guy on every fuckin bill, how am i supposed to deal with that." Justin
To me, at the gym after a set of curls: Dan
Hey... if that girl wasn't so fat... she'd still have really bad hair. Me and Keith
Reading our fortunes from fortune cookies: Jess
Mark: Man, I'm feenin' for some ice cream... wow.. feenin', I haven't "feened" since my ghetto days... you feel me? Cristal
Refering to her biceps: Keith
Anyone who knows who Keith (check his site here if you don't) is can see why this is very funny coming from him: Brian
Brian's response to how drunk I suggested we get because of our current sorrows: Jessica
Mark: I hate Sundays... James
After he said something funny: I guess you had to be there Andrea
A text message from a friend: James
Mark: Hey, James, you finally made it onto my Friends quotes page, aren't you excited? James
James: Man, Britney Spears is sooo hot... Mark
Mark: I want to work on my posture, I've noticed that I slouch quite a bit. But I feel stupid sitting up straight.. like I'm being uppity or something... Brian
Girl: So what's your background? Dave
(in response to a rude comment from a bitchy girl that had gained a lot of weight since they had last seen one another): Damn, girl!?! Who pulled the ripcord? Unnamed
(speaking of his.. or her.. masturbation skills): I've been with a fair share of girls, and I'm not putting them down when I say this, but I'm the best I've ever had. Alex
(about a MILF at the bank): With a mom like that, who needs toys? Lucas
She's got a hundred dollar body with a food stamp face. Andrew
Parsley makes you go blind you know... it's like syphilis. Derek
(About the attractiveness of a girl) Man, it looks like her face was on fire and someone put it out with a bag of nickels. Unnamed
Man, fat chicks gotta be nice... Brian
(Cutting off a girl at a party that was talking to him) Blah, blah, blah... look, it's Miller Time, I need another beer. Angel
(To a girl that he was not interested in that was talking to him) Yeah, well, that was nice, but i think it's time for you to go... Crawford
an away message: so i'm fucking this guy up the ass the other night, and i reach around and his dick's hard! and i'm like "what?!? is this guy gay or something?!?!" I think I'm gonna get "2nd Trimester" tattooed on my stomach. Angel
OH MY GOD!! KEITH, YOU SUCK AT LIFE!!! (Yelling out of the car window) HEY LADIES, CAN I TOUCH YOUR CLAM?! Brian
So I'm fuckin' this girl from behind, right? And I'm thinkin', I'm gonna go for it. So I start to put it in her ass and she turns to me and says, "Don't you think that's a little presumptuous?" So I replied, "Don't you think presumptuous is a really big word for a nine year-old?" (This was a joke, for anyone that doesn't know Brian)(Well it's a joke for those who do know Brian too, but if you know him, then you would have known this was a joke) Brian
Brian (Hanging up the phone): Ok, I love you. Brian
Man, she is sooo hot, I just wanna bite her ass. Aaron
Okay, but before I start, let me say, I didn't know she was a hooker... Brett
(Talking to a guy about the attractiveness of a girl) Let me put it this way: if I had to choose between fucking her or... you... I'm fuckin you... with a smile. Unnamed
"Did you let her stay over?" |