Update: Nickname and quote from Jason Fiore

Business in the front:.

Name: Andrew Eastwood
Nicknames: Eastside, Beastwood, Dickie Limpkins, Turd Fergusan (Jason Fiore)
website: LOL
Song I relate to him: any Bob Dylan or Elliott Smith
Closest fictional character: The Dude (The Big Lebowski)
Best known for: His amazing resemblence to The Dude (The Big Lebowski).

Quotes describing him:
"Is my brother drinking out of a plastic bag?? Either he's hit an all time low, or there's some strange happenings over there in the land of the thai."

"You're a user..."

Before a final exam, said by the hot girl sitting behind him:
"You smell like booze..."

"I don't know... he's like an old, angry grandfather."

His quotes:
"Conversation about his 8 and 9 year old students:

AE: So I don't think the girls here do high 5's.
MP: How so?
AE: Well, when one of the girls in my class does a good job, I'll say, "Mint, nice work. High 5." And she'll just gimme this look like, "I'm gonna go sit down, weirdo."
MP: Maybe they're not used to touching guys...
AE: Well, some of them are all about giving high 5's... and they love it when I tickle them... what?
MP: Should you be... tickling them?
AE: What?! C'mon?! They're kids! Kids love being tickled!!
MP: I'm just sayin, it could look... a little shady...
AE: I tickle the boys, t... I need a beer.

Said with conviction, after finishing yet another crossword puzzle (from the "Nice and Easy Crosswords" book)(seriously, that's the name of the book):
I am the master of all that is crossword.

"Man, it's so hot and thick... it's like walking into butter."

about Thai money:
"See, they put the same guy on every fuckin bill, how am I supposed to deal with that?!"

Eastwood: This subway is even cleaner than D.C.'s subway... way cleaner than New York's...
Me: Well mine's cleaner than New York's... don't get many passengers though...
Eastwood: ...
Me: ...
Eastwood: ... that's weird.

At Starbucks, online, after an unfortunate incident at a massage parl... establishment:
Me: Next time you're bringing a book, you're making me feel all rushed and uncormfortable...
Eastwood: At least I didn't grab your balls..

"Parsley makes you go blind you know... it's like syphilis."

A drunken response to a girl who called him handsome:
"No I'm not, I'm just wearing jeans..."

"I wouldn't kick her outa bed for eatin' crackers... know what I mean?"

Best story i got about eastwood is when we were all snowed in at umass.. 2 snow days ina row so we stocked up on beer and booze.. drank all monday and i wake up on tuesday and he hadnt fell asleep yet.. Hammered he passed out at like 1 pm wakes up the next day as im getting ready for classes. im like

too funny a good memory

Things he might say to you:
"What about me?!? I'm smart!!"
"I'm very funny."
"AAAANGRY."
"I'm just always awesome."
"I'm a cunning linguist."
"Is this a.. uhh... what day is this?"
"I need a beer."

If "A friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be sitting next to you saying 'that was fucking awesome!'", then: Andrew would feel bad about not coming, but when he saw everyone leaving, he got excited that all the booze was for left for him. By the time he heard you were in jail he was in no condition to be around police. But he'll have a shot with you and toast the experience- "To 'being drunk at home', it's better than in jail."

His take:
"Sometimes eveyday I'll get a bottle of whisky, sometimes everyday I don't."

My take:
...maybe you don't, Andrew... maybe you don't.

Defining quote:
Nobody ever
broke your heart,
If you're alone
it must be you that wants to be apart
- Elliott Smith

Party in the back:

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