Updates:
Things he sends to people:
Music video
Quotes describing him:
"It was YOU, LITTLE MAN!!!"

Business in the front:.

Name: Crawford
Nicknames: Crawfish, Crawdog, Crawfest, Cramferd, Edward Scissorface, Ford
website: http://www.steevemusic.com/
Song I relate to him/her: anything by Phish
Closest fictional character: A sad version of a typical Steve Martin character.
Best known for: General grossness and perverseness.

Quotes describing him:
"That kid is a mess"
"He needs a reset button for his life"
"He should put his nipples away"
"You look like a fucked up Obi Wan"
"When he went to college, did he... eat it?"
"DAMN IT, FORD!!!"

His quotes:
"So I'm fucking this guy up the ass the other night, and I reach around and his dick's hard! And I'm like, 'What?!? Is this guy gay or something?!?!'"

"I think I'm gonna get '2nd Trimester' tattooed on my stomach."

"Listen to me... it's financialist...

Things he might say to you:
"Can you get me an order of lo mein? No vegetables, meat, or sauce though."

If "A friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be sitting next to you saying 'that was fucking awesome!'", then: Crawford would sell some of his "stocks" and come bail you out. Then he'd say that the first time is free, but if you like it, then you'll talk price.

His take:
"I don't care."

My take:
Inner anger masked by indifference.

Party in the back:

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