Business in the front: .

Name: Jessica Melfa
Nicknames: Messy Jessie
website: none
Song I relate to her: Let's Get Married (remix)- Jagged Edge, You Make Me Wanna- Usher, September- Earth, Wind, and Fire, Goodbye- Alicia Keys, and almost anything by Billy Joel or Justin Timberlake
Closest fictional character: Monica (Friends)
Best known for: Her big, beautiful, round, some may call them tan, most would say brown, perfect eyes... oh and of course let's not forget about her set of captivating, breath-taking pearly whites... and, soon enough, her balls, as she likes to refer to them (my personal favorite).

Quotes describing her:
"Yeah, she's the best..."
"Yeah, she's the best..." "At what?..."
"Which one was she?" "The one at my going away party, real pretty.. with the really nice set of mits." "Oh yeah... her hands were nice..."
"Who's the hot girl dancin with the fat asian?"
"Umm, she's Italian... no, nothing like that... yeah, but she loves the Yankees... I don't know, ticketmaster?... no, she doesn't have body guards... no, she comes out alone, she gets dropped off by these guys normally... I dont know, guys... suits with white on white ties, why?"

Her quotes:
Mark: Man, I'm feenin' for some ice cream... wow.. feenin', I haven't "feened" since my ghetto days... you feel me?
Jess: ..uh..
Mark: Huh?!? You feel me?!?
Jess: Ye.. Yeah... WORD!

Anyone who knows who Keith (check his site here if you don't) is can see why this is very funny coming from him:
Jessica: Aaww Mark, this is the first song we ever danced to...
Mark: Umm, no it's not...
Jessica: Uh, yeah it is...
Mark: Uh, the first song we ever danced to was Cry Me A River... nice try though...
Jessica: ...oh yeah
Keith: Ooo, YOU JUST GOT SERVED!!

Mark: I hate Sundays...
Jessica: Yeah, but I need them... I need Sundays like Sundays need... Mondays? I think I'm tired...

Things she might say to you:
"...totally... "
"I Know!!!!"- Like Monica (Friends)
"Seriously?"
"Uummmm.... huh?"
"Uuuhhh, YEAH?!"
"Umm, I don't think that's a good idea, but thanks for the drink!! BYEEEE!
"Mark, stop, please. Seriously, my Balls are killin me..."
"I'm stayin in with The Family tonight... someone sent my father a case of wine as an apology about something... I don't know.."

If "A friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be sitting next to you saying 'that was fucking awesome!'", then: you'd be in the cell with everyone that was in your car wondering why nobody from Jess' car is in there with you. She got pulled over with you; so she was caught doin the same thing you were. What reason would she have that would have gotten her out of it. As you reach the end of this thought, you'd see her walk in with Srgt. Sagittarius and realize that, with that shirt on, she didn't have a reason; she had 2. And as you leave the station, after she "conversed" with the bailor about the fine being way too... "stiff", and bailed everyone out at half the price, you overhear two cops talkin: "So, did you get her number?" "No... but she said somethin about Houlihan's on Tuesdays..."

Her take:
"Mark, I think your overestimating my intelligence...I have big boobs...that's all, it doesn't mean I am smart!!!!"

My take:
She sucks cause she doesn't have a twin that's down with short guys... that's about all I got against her. I even love her balls...

Defining quote:
Be happy for this moment
This moment is your life

Party in the back:

Pictures of her balls coming soon...

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