Update: new nicknames from Angel and Justin

Business in the front:.

Name: Keith Brian Devens
Nicknames: Queef, Scrunge, Beef, Keif, Gay, Fag
website: keithdevens.com
Song I relate to him/her: Pretty much anything by James Brown.
Closest fictional character: Niles (Frasier), Harry Potter
Best known for: Displaying excitement about anything that interests him by going into a slightly crouched position, whilst flailing his arms about and pointing at the source of excitement. And grabbing my balls "accidently" since 1992.

Quotes describing him:
"No, he's not coming; he's gonna take a bath."
"No, he's not coming; he's giving his dog a bath."
"No, he's gonna be late; he fell asleep in the bath."
"No, he just took a bath, so he's gonna shower and go to bed."
"I told you, he's a 50 year-old republican."
"STOP GRABBING MY BALLS!!! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!!! IF YOU ARE FALLING INTO A POOL AND YOU CAN CHOOSE BETWEEN GRABBING MY BALLS OR FALLING ON THE GIRL NEXT TO ME... IT'S ALWAYS THE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!......!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... I need a drink..."
"OH MY GOD!! KEITH, YOU SUCK AT LIFE!!!"

Ross: And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!
Joey: We're 29, we're not women.

His quotes:
"So, when are you coming home? I'm starting to miss your ass.
I mean... not your ass, but you... including your ass, I guess..."

"Man, learn Thai better. You're missing out on Thai chicks! This isn't a game anymore!"

Jessica: Aaww Mark, this is the first song we ever danced to...
Mark: Umm, no it's not...
Jessica: Uh, yeah it is...
Mark: Uh, the first song we ever danced to was Cry Me A River... nice try though...
Jessica: ...oh yeah...
Keith: Ooo, YOU JUST GOT SERVED!!

Things he might say to you:
"YO!"
"OOOoooo, You got SERVED!!!"
"I'm taking a bath."
"Dude!!!"
"Buffy is AWESOME!!"
"Hey, let's watch (insert "straight to video" movie here)!!! It has (insert semi-attractive girl that has either been involved in any Joss Whedon project, or has said she would consider doing one.)
"ROAR!" (Normally not an actual growl, but the word "roar")

If "A friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be sitting next to you saying 'that was fucking awesome!'", then: depending on what you did, Keith would decide how long he thought you should have to wait, then calculate the longest he could possibly stay in his bath and not be later than he planned to be, because although he decided you deserved to wait, waiting longer than what he decided would be his fault. Either way, he would come about half and hour to an hour after he had planned, so he will apologize for the last half hour of waiting, but not the first 5 and a half. Then ask if you wanna get ice cream by saying- "Ice cream?" with a shake of excitement in his head.

His take:
"I'm generally right about things... people, events, etc."

My take:
He's kinda like an acquired taste, except you're not completely sure what reason there is to acquire it in the first place.

Defining quote:
"If I had one wish, I'd never have to sleep, eat, or go to the bathroom."

Party in the back:
Ok, so he doesn't get too crazy when out with people, but these pictures help illustrate his rather large area of "personal space."

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